7 Aralık 2012 Cuma


               Emptiness is consuming me. I made everything and I possessed but all went away. This is starting to scare me right now. The more I live the more my life stays away from reason. I am scared to fall down into a misery. Maybe a mystery; Maybe all of those things are my hysteria. I really don’t know.
               When I tilt up my head and see a light twinkles upon me; I feel  splendid happiness overwhelms me. Because this light will be the moon or stars from endless space. All I know about my future is a deep black hole. This is why I  always feel happy when I see the stars and the moon.
               My eyes are blind. My eyes are blind; because I fear light. The shining sun and the moon and stars shone brightly in the sky above me. Maybe that fear makes me happy; maybe it doesn't  The truth will never be known.
               I like to read a book about my dreams. Because I've never remembered them. I know every person in this world can dream including me.Why can’t I remember my dreams? Why me? Is it my curse? All that promises and words I have given... Without my dreams, how can I remember them?...
               Voices... They are calling... And screams... Echoes are deep lodging inside my head. I am losing my sanity and nobody ever wants to grab my hand and pull me. I am a stranger in a strange land. Killing and screaming are all what I wanted to do. I have lost my humanity.
               Running away from life is not a solution. The solution must be more complex and certain. There will be some troubles on every mile I pace in my life. I can’t give it up immediately  I have to fight and to be victorious in life. But who will be with me in my battle; I really don’t know. I am tired. Maybe there won't be any fight nor a battle. Maybe I would just surrender; who knows?...