6 Ocak 2013 Pazar


               All have gone... Oh, I did't care. I've never cried for yesterdays. You know, crying doesn't change anything. But I wish, it can.

              Writing is all I can do. Some people are sneering when I wrote something. But they have no emphaty. So tell me, how can I keep myself from writing? You can try to crucify me, but you can't crucify me. Maybe you can crucify my body, but you can't crucify my spirit.

              In my opinion, I have to retrieve my ideas again. Because during my lifetime, I have seen some people were jeering to me. I have a weak body, but I have strong ideas. I can touch to people's heart and I can make their heart soft. At the other hand, I can make their feelings strong. That is the power of the words.

               I have been bound by the evil thoughts. Day by day, I have been thinking more about the idea of saving me from that evil thougts. They can consume my spirit and maybe there will be nothing left to be done. Therefore, I have to be quick.

                Well, you selfish idiot people; keep you distance far away from me. I will not be one of you. I have my own way. Or tell me where were you whenever I need somebody near me? You are only thinking yourselves. That is all. And you are calling me as your friend; aren't you? What a selfish stupid idea. I hate you all. You and your poor ideas.

              I really  wonder when I see the people telling me that I am your friend. I do not accept anybody's friendship. Because everyone I met has hurt my heart. I don't want to hear their voices. I really agree with myself that I can't talk. I can only write.

              All that people that I called as my friend once upon a time was Turkish. I hate them. Whenever I remember them, that is driving me insane. Stupid idiots... Heartbreakers... Selfish people... When I was 15, I found a foreign friend to talk; she had listened to me, she had talked to me; those days was beautiful. Then I lost my connection with her. After a long time; I found another one; A foreign Muslim friend; he was an open minded person. But he had gone too. I was on my own.

                At last; I am here. Here and alone; nobody is trying to hear me; nobody is trying to understand me. I am trying to explain myself with writing something. I don't want to use my language when I am writing. I hate this country and its people.